How To Drive Results Without Being an Asshole
A manager’s guide to setting (and enforcing) high standards for good work.
In a recent coaching session, one of my clients opened up about the difficulty he’s had determining whether his expectations for his employees are reasonable. His direct report was not producing work to the standard he felt was appropriate, and he couldn’t get on the same page with him about it.
“I have a certain standard for the level of quality they should be delivering, but they seem to have something different in their minds,” he said. “It can lead to me getting really angry. In the past, when I’ve stepped in to show them the quality of work I’m expecting them to deliver, it hasn’t gone over so well. It seems like we just don't agree on the standard of work they should be producing, and I'm not totally sure what to do about it.”
I asked him simply: “Have you talked to them about what success looks like?”
He admitted that he hadn’t.
“I'm not sure what's appropriate,” he said. “I feel like if I talk to them about it, they’ll share their opinion and I'll just have to go along with it.”
I kept pressing: “Don't you think it would be worthwhile to check your expectations with them to see if your expectations are even reasonable?”
After a long pause, he agreed that this might not be such a bad idea.
We spent the rest of the session hashing out how to explore this conversation with his employees so they could together agree on what success looks like. We talked about the importance of giving them a chance to own their work, and he started to recognize that it was their domain, and ultimately, they were the ones responsible for delivering on the goals. He might even find that they have good information that he doesn’t have access to, which could be valuable for setting a new standard that everyone could feel good about.
Later that week, something similar came up with another client. This client wanted to know how to create a sense of responsibility and ownership in his team while maintaining the team’s sense of well-being and balance. He said he didn’t like that he sometimes had to go to his people and chastise them for producing sub-par work.
Both of these clients cared deeply about upholding a high standard for their team’s work, but they were worried about coming across as an asshole. They wanted results without sacrificing relationships.
So how do you uphold high standards without being a jerk? How do you determine what success looks like, anyway? Here’s my playbook for driving quality work and productivity amongst your team without being an asshole.
It’s All About Ownership
In my opinion, the solution lies in clearly communicated agreements with your team. You want all of your people to be assigned to a particular area of the business that they can own—and once they own that area, it’s on them to ensure that it thrives.
You, as their manager, are responsible for working with that person to agree on what goals and quality expectations are expected for that role. Some managers let the direct report drive that conversation, and other managers get more active in outlining deliverables and objectives. I’m a fan of letting the owner (the direct report) drive this collaborative conversation. It’s their domain and they have the expertise in this area. If you trusted them enough to hire them, then you should trust them to propose worthwhile and ambitious goals.
The key here is an open and honest dialogue. It’s crucial that neither party withholds information or feelings about what they think is best for that area of the business.
Keep dialoging until you’re both on the same page about what good work looks like. That means no uncommunicated expectations, no disagreements that you haven’t surfaced upfront. It means laying it all on the table and talking it out. You will also have to ensure that their goals fit into the broader goals of the company. Once that dialogue is complete and you’re both clear on the goals and level of quality, then the teammate very clearly commits to their goals. Then, it’s on them to go out and deliver on the work.
When your teammates have a strong sense of ownership over their work, you’ll find that they’re also more motivated, proactive, and engaged. They care about doing a good job. They go for it. They may even surprise you by exceeding your expectations.
Bake In Accountability
Then we must incorporate accountability. This is your secret weapon for encouraging great work while also centering strong relationships between you and your teammates.
I recommend a simple process for ensuring accountability. At each one-on-one meeting going forward (weekly or bi-weekly), pull up the owner’s goals. They should be color-coded by the direct report based on progress (red, yellow, and green). Initiate a discussion around progress and any roadblocks towards those goals that might have arisen.
In these structured one-on-ones, the manager should be giving clear feedback and praise based on how the owner is doing on their goals. This is a crucial step. Even when it’s negative, feedback can always be given in a way that is respectful and kind. You don’t have to be an asshole, but you do need to say the hard thing. Nonviolent Communication can be an invaluable support for these kinds of conversations.
I really want to encourage you to share how their progress (or lack thereof) makes you feel. Jeff Bezos, Elon Musk, Bill Gates and Steve Jobs all would get emotionally volatile or borderline abusive when a teammate didn’t deliver on something important that they said they would. These leaders incorporated what I call ‘Accountability with Consequences’. Meaning, that if you’re an employee at one of their companies, bad things would happen if you didn’t deliver on your work. You could be fired, bullied, verbally abused, and publicly embarrassed. It’s clear in those organizations that you want to deliver or it’s going to be a really shitty time for you.
I can’t in my right mind espouse people to do that. But I can encourage you to do a healthier version of that, which is Nonviolent Communication. For this to work, you don’t have to be an asshole, but you do have to say hard things on a regular basis. You are creating tension when you share challenging emotions that their subpar work is making you feel. That tension inspires your people to change and do better work. It encourages them to deliver because they know that the boss will notice, and they don’t want to upset their boss. You are creating tension that your teammates want to resolve by doing good work.
Accountability always needs to be rooted in trust. If the trust isn’t there, accountability becomes micro-managing—which doesn’t work. When your teammate commits to delivering something, you need to fully believe in them, trust them, and be clear on what good work looks like. If you don’t trust or believe in this person, that’s a problem. A lack of trust indicates that there’s more discussion to be had, or a personnel change may be necessary.
If everything is working properly, you shouldn't have to check your teammate’s work too regularly. Your role as the manager is simply to support them as best as you can in achieving their goals. Your teammate should be leveraging their relationship with you to get support and coaching on making their goals happen.
Here’s the bottom line: Once your employee or teammate owns the area, it’s their area. You are both clear on what success looks like because you hashed it out already. You need to trust them. You need to believe in them. You need to back off and not step in and try to be a hero in their area. Stepping in and micromanaging will fundamentally disempower your teammate—and nobody produces their best work when they’re disempowered.
Clearly communicated expectations plus ownership and accountability are the magic formula for getting people to do great work. And it’s all built on a foundation of trust. Operating this way is more empowering for your teammates, it’s easier for you as the manager, and it’s more enjoyable for everyone. It’s a win-win. You’ll get the stellar results you’re looking for—without having to be an asshole in the process.