Disappoint the Robots
Being great in the modern world requires being bad at your tech. There, I said it.
Success always comes with trade-offs. But that’s never been more true than today when most of us are dealing with a higher demand on our time and attentional resources than ever before.
High-achievers know that if you want to achieve anything significant, certain sacrifices are in order. Extreme outputs require extreme inputs, and those inputs come at the cost of other areas of life. The question isn’t whether or not you’ll make sacrifices, but rather, which sacrifices you’re willing to make. If you want to be world-class at something, you have to be all in on your craft—and that means being decidedly out on distractions that don’t serve your greater purpose.
For those of us aspiring to mastery, disappointing the technology (and virtual friends and followers) in our lives isn’t just advisable—it’s essential. You don’t need to invest any energy into maintaining a Wordle streak. You don’t need to be checking fantasy football lineups. Stop obsessively checking your Coinbase portfolio. Netflix should be wondering where you went. And for the love of God, you do not need to keep up with your Instagram, X, TikTok, and Facebook feeds. Stop scrolling, stop posting (or post only within a very selective and intentional set of parameters), and stop letting social media consume your precious time, attention, and life force—without giving anything back.
These platforms aren’t designed to help you thrive; they’re designed to capture and monetize your attention. They were very carefully crafted to keep you engaged for as long as possible, capitalizing on the weaknesses in your psychology to hijack your dopamine receptors and create a habit. If you look up from your phone after an hour of scrolling having no idea where your evening just went—and then go back the next day for more—they have done their job.
The modern world isn’t structured with your best interests in mind, it’s structured to make money off your time and attention. As a thoughtful, intentional human who has important things to accomplish in the world, you need to be aware of this reality and respond accordingly. I suggest that you treat your relationship with tech like a relationship with a person who doesn’t care about you and doesn’t have your best interests in mind. Your success depends on reclaiming that time. The more you invest in the minor, the more you drain your energy from what’s truly important.
The bottom line is that if you want to achieve anything truly worthwhile, you have to be hyper-aware of where your time and energy are going. And you can’t afford to waste it in areas with little to no ROI.
For me, my focus this year is clear: I’m committed to being a great coach, writing a book that will be a leadership classic for decades to come, being a solid father and husband, maintaining strong friendships within my inner circle, and staying in shape. That’s it. I know that this is more than enough to keep me busy for the year ahead, without being totally overwhelming. Notice that I’m not aiming to get into the best shape of my life, or to be the greatest father and husband of all time this year. If that were my singular goal, I’d have to let go of writing a book, which is a time-intensive and demanding pursuit. Bringing this book into the world in the way that I want is a three-year project, and I want to make it great. That requires sacrifice. I’m grateful that my wife, Jane, has stepped up to support me here.
Stepping up to write my book also means no Instagram, only using social media to post my newsletter, hardcore boundaries with my phone, no TV, and little to no poker, golf, and skiing—three hobbies I enjoy. It also means I’m not keeping up with out-of-town friends as well as I’d like.
This is the reality of committing to a vision. You can’t be great at everything all the time. You have to be intentional about what truly matters and design your life accordingly. That also means accepting where you won’t excel. Boundaries with technology and social media are a great place to start because in most cases, it will give you some real time and energy back without having to sacrifice more important things: relationships, fitness, self-care, and leisure. I get that for many people, social media is a necessary marketing tool and way of building their brand. Even if this is the case, I’m confident that developing healthy boundaries around posting will only support your success more in the long run.
Success comes down to discipline and choice. Mastery isn’t just about doing more—it’s about doing less of what doesn’t matter. Any pursuit of mastery includes mastering our time and attention. We must intentionally disappoint the robots—let down the algorithm, so we can fully show up for what we truly care about.
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼